Turns Out You Can't Jerk Off On A Bus For Three Hours Even If You Think A Lady Passenger Is Enjoying The Show

TSG- In what may be a record, a passenger masturbated for “up to three hours” yesterday as he traveled on a Megabus, according to Iowa police who reported that the suspect continued pleasuring himself because he thought a female victim “was enjoying it.” Cops were called Sunday afternoon to a bus station in Coralville, an Iowa City suburb, to meet an arriving Megabus. According to a criminal complaint, officers were told that passenger Telly Shadell Corey, 41, “was on the bus with his penis exposed to a female passenger that was terrified.” A subsequent investigation determined that Corey initially “played with his penis in his sweatpants.” He then “ended up exposing his penis and masturbating for up to three hours because he thought the victim was enjoying it.” After being read his rights, Corey reportedly copped to the marathon pleasure session and told police he thought “since the victim didn’t say anything to him she was enjoying it.”

Let’s get one thing straight here. You should not jerk off on a bus. You just shouldn’t. Under no circumstances should you be whipping your dick out on a bus and pleasuring yourself. That’s wrong. Lots of people probably ride that bus and they don’t want anybody else’s residual jerk off juices on the seats. Think of others before you pick a spot to masturbate. That’s a life rule. Now with all that out of the way, this chick had to be LOVING the show. If she didn’t like the show she would’ve changed the channel. Plain and simple. She didn’t let it go on for 10 minutes or 20 minutes or even a half hour. Those are reasonable times to wait if you’re frozen in fear and don’t want to interrupt the dude jerking off on the bus. Maybe you’re hoping he finishes and that’ll be that. But she waited three fucking hours. Three! At a certain point you’re just enjoying the show and three hours is that point. Case closed. Judge Trent presiding.

I’m not much of a matchmaker but I feel like this guy and the girl who was scratching her turntables on the NYC subway would get along swimmingly.

h/t tim